vancerains.com

I was thinking about patience yesterday. In fact, I developed my own definition…

Patience is needing or wanting something to go a certain way, and it isn’t, and accepting your lack of ability or control to change the situation.

Let me share the context:  For the last two weeks I’ve helped care for my six-month-old twin granddaughters. My son and daughter-in-law’s nanny unexpectedly quit.  My son is a video producer and the co-owner of a rental warehouse for the film/video industry, and this is the BUSY season (much like Lent/Easter for Pastors, or the Fall for football coaches, or March and April for accountants, or Christmas for Santa). My daughter-in-law works full-time for the rental side of the business, but has worked from home since the nanny quit, to also care for the twins.  In other words, she has two more-than-full-time jobs! She’s Wonder Woman!

Yesterday was a particularly busy day for my son and daughter-in-law, so I was doing as much as I could to lighten her load by caring for the twins – which was mostly fine.  My son and daughter-in-law have done a masterful job keeping the twins on a fairly-fixed schedule of sleep and nap times, bottles, play times, baths, etc. And it mostly works – until it doesn’t.

Yesterday, we had a break down.

For some reason, one of twins just wouldn’t nap. She needed a nap, but she simply refused.  I tried letting her cry – and cry she did, with growing intensity.  I tried bouncing her.  I tried a pacifier and also offered one to her (that was a joke). I tried rocking her.  I tried laying her on her side, and on her back, and on her tummy.  I sang to her (Bob Marley tunes, if you’re curious. And they usually work, but not yesterday).

All the while, her twin slept peacefully in the crib beside her. But her peaceful sleep could’ve ended any moment as her sister’s protests increased. Then I’d have had two crying, not-sleeping babies on my hands!  I’m good, but not THAT good!

I must admit, I was stressed.  I can handle a crying baby.  And I usually can get a crying baby to fall asleep (I’ve had years of practice helping congregations sleep during my long sermons!). But needing her to not wake her sister and needing her not to distract her working mommy, and knowing her NOT sleeping would disrupt the day’s schedule, I REALLY NEEDED HER TO STOP CRYING AND TAKE A #!&$ NAP!

That’s when I thought of patience, and my lack of it. I needed my granddaughter to stop crying and go to sleep. Nothing I tried worked, and the situation was only getting worse. I was entirely out of control. That’s when I thought of my definition of patience…

Patience is needing or wanting something to go a certain way, and it isn’t, and accepting your lack of ability or control to change the situation.

So, what happened? She won. No nap. Maybe she was teething. Maybe she had an upset stomach. Maybe she just didn’t want to. Who knows?!?! I couldn’t make her sleep, despite all of my best grandpa tricks. I just had to accept the situation and make the most of it.

And, the truth is, the rest of the day was fine.  The other twin napped well. There were no catastrophes. All is well.

Maybe that’s part of patience too – knowing that my immediate feelings of impatient angst may be greater than the reality of the situation. Whether it’s a crying baby, or waiting in a long line, or getting stuck in traffic, or whatever, maybe we just need to take a deep breath, realize we’re not in control, and accept the situation for what it is, trusting that everything will probably be ok, one way or another.

As I carried my no-longer-crying granddaughter out of the nursery, my daughter-in-law said sympathetically, “You have a lot of patience.”  To which I said, “Funny. I was just thinking about patience.”

Patience requires practice of course. I just hope that doesn’t mean another non-napping baby today!