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My first encounter with God was at a church summer camp, when I was in High School.  I was not a regular, or even a semi-regular, church attendee. I wasn’t the slightest bit religious. I didn’t know God. But, I attended camp with my Tennessee cousins, because it sounded fun when they invited me. I didn’t go to camp for God. I went to camp for canoeing, swimming, volleyball, activities, to make new friends, and to meet cute girls. I found all of that at camp, and more. What/who I didn’t expect to find was God.

Undeniably, my God encounter was unplanned and unexpected. Nevertheless, it was real and profound. I was NOT looking for God. But God found me! I initially pushed God away, unsure what I was experiencing, or if it was real or fantasy, or if I was ready to embrace “God.” But, after much consideration, I took the plunge (literally, I was baptized by immersion in a cold Tennessee river late on a Sunday night).

Unfortunately, camp was only one week a year, and I lived in Orlando, FL – far away from my Tennessee camp experience. Despite sincere and intentional efforts to keep my God-experience going at home, I just couldn’t connect “locally” (meaning, I had a difficult time finding a church where God felt as loving and as present as God did at camp). For me, God was real, but God and camp were inseparable.  I loved God. I loved camp. I loved God at camp. But I hadn’t found a way to know God apart from camp. And without camp, I didn’t know how to connect with God.

I never lost my faith. It was always there, somewhere, but certainly not center-stage or on the forefront of my thoughts or actions. As time passed, I drifted farther and farther away from my camp/God experience.

But, as my almost-fiancé and I neared college graduation and talked about marriage, one of us suggested finding a church to attend, join, and have our wedding. We visited a variety of churches before finding a home at the First United Methodist Church of Orlando, where I now serve as Pastor. Immediately, my camp-found faith in God was rekindled and First Church became our new spiritual home.

To my great surprise, in a few short months of attending First Church, I sensed God calling me to the ministry. Initially, I resisted (see the pattern?). I’d only been a church member for a few months. I’d spent my college years FAR away from anything to do with church or religion. I’d never read the Bible, or knew anything about theology, or had any idea what pastors do beyond Sunday mornings. But I couldn’t deny what I was experiencing. As I explored my calling, I couldn’t deny it was real. Within months I was a church employee (Youth Director) and a “Candidate for Ministry” in the United Methodist Church. Before long I was a seminary student, and I soon became a pastor. The timespan between my first sense of calling and my ordination was only three-and-a-half short years.  That was thirty-plus years ago.

Because my calling came so early in my church experience, and so early in my spiritual development, I’ve never known God apart from institutional church and ministry. My ministry and spirituality have been inseparable. And my ministry has been firmly rooted within denominational Christianity. My calling, my employment, and my spirituality are something like conjoined triplets.

But herein lies an opportunity and a challenge.  When my spirituality is rich, and my sense of calling is strong, and my ministry is thriving, then everything works in balanced harmony. But, specifically, when my ministry or calling is more challenging, my spirituality pays the price. More often than not, one of three is always out of sync.

Who is God apart from my calling?

Who is God apart from my employment and job duties?

Who is God apart from the people I serve?

Who is God apart from my title, my vestments, my role as pastor, my fancy office?

Who is God apart of my identity as a particular kind of institutional Christian?

Who is God when I’m not the pastor in the pulpit?

I don’t know if know, because it’s all I’ve ever known.

Don’t get me wrong. I fully recognize most Christians know God without becoming a pastor or working for a church.  They experience God in worship, at home, with family, at work, in nature, etc. I too experience God in those ways. I’ve just never done so without ALSO being a professional minister. And, like I said, sometimes that’s a spiritual help and sometimes it’s a hindrance.

This week begins a three-month renewal leave from my normal pastoral duties. I won’t be at church, at all. I won’t deliver any sermons. I won’t prepare or lead Bible studies. I won’t attend church meetings (Can I get an “Amen”?). I won’t make hospital visits. I won’t plan the next church event. I won’t officiate weddings or funerals. Instead, I’ll travel, spend time with my granddaughters, garden, and who knows what else? Can God be found in those things? Of course! But, do I know how?

Saint Ignatius of Loyola writes, “All the things in this world are gifts of God, created for us, to be the means by which we can come to know him better, love him more surely, and serve him more faithfully.”

“All things…” Does that include a cruise? Does that include watching a sunrise or sunset? Does that include time with my wife, my kids, my grandchildren? Does that include puttering around the yard or garage? Does that include reading for no purpose but enjoyment and personal enrichment? Does that include rest? Does that include enjoying a cup of coffee at Starbucks, without meeting someone? Does that include strumming my guitar, just for fun? Does that include cooking? Does that include changing my granddaughter’s diapers and rocking them to sleep? Does that include flights to Texas and back?

Yes. I’m sure “All things…” includes all of that, and more, at church and away from church, at work and on leave. I just need to learn how.

I’m not concerned, at all. Rather, I’m excited! I feel like I’m finally exploring an untapped, underdeveloped part of my spiritual life that can only make my spirituality, life and ministry (when I return) all-the-richer.

Any thoughts, ideas, or spiritual guidance? I’d love to hear from you!