I’ve been thinking a lot about motives lately – my motives, specifically.
Sometimes, I do things because I’m paid to do them. It’s my job.
Sometimes, I do things because I have to – like paying taxes
Sometimes (too often), I do things out of selfish desires.
Sometimes, I act on impulse.
Sometimes, I do things to earn the approval of others – or to avoid their criticism or disapproval. If I am going to be honest, I do this a lot. A lot.
We all do, I suspect, to one degree or another. We want people to like us. We crave validation. It doesn’t feel good to know someone is disappointed in you.
But, I fear, especially for pastors, this can be a slippery and dangerous slope. It is for me. Rather than doing what is right and good for the intrinsically right and good reasons, it is easy to slip into doing whatever it takes to make and keep people happy, and to avoid upsetting anyone. As a pastor, it is easy to slip into being a people-pleaser.
It’s easy to do the right things for the wrong motives. Not evil motives. Just not the right motives.
I’ve told many prospective pastors that the hardest thing about ministry, for me, is always knowing that someone is unhappy with me. That is just reality. No matter how hard a pastor tries, someone will always feel let down. Pastors are only human. We can’t be in two places at once. We can’t give everyone equal attention. We can’t make everyone happy. We aren’t omniscient. We can’t fix everything. We only have so much to give before running out of steam. We make mistakes. I make a lot of mistakes.
After all, many of us even struggle, from time to time, with feeling let down by God. If God can’t escape our disappointment, how can any of us expect to be spared from it?
A counselor once told me, “Vance. You have to confess and repent your idolatrous desire for human approval.” He was right. I am painfully aware that too much of what I do is divided between earning human approval and avoiding their criticism. I know that I have God’s love and approval, unconditionally. But, that’s never enough. Why, is this particular idol so hard to cast down?
So, let’s get back to motives. I think Jesus would say that everything we do should be motivated by love. He certainly didn’t make everyone happy. He only seemed to care about his Father’s approval, who said, “This is my son, whom I love.” But, he loved. He loved God and he loved people. He loved the broken, the outcast, the sick, the sinner, the demon-possessed, the confused, the doubtful, the rich and the poor. His greatest act of love, of course, was the cross.
Here’s a fact – if I love you, I will gladly do anything I can for you. If I don’t love you, I may still do it, but for entirely different motives. I would much rather be motivated by love.
Love is the only motivation that matters. Maybe someday my motives will be purer than they are today.
What motivates you?